


When the Pilgrim met the Pine Tree

by sick_ranchez



Category: Gravity Falls, Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Naughty Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-28 17:53:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6339418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sick_ranchez/pseuds/sick_ranchez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When roaming through the forest, two twins come across a peculiar set of lost boys. They decide to take them in, but what happens when two of them fall for one another? What happens when an old threat comes back to haunt them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When He and He Met

It was a shit day in gravity falls, it was raining. Dipper looked out side of the illuminaty window. He sighed and went down to the mystery part of the mystery shack to talk to grunkle stan. "Yeesh kid" gruncle said leaning over the counter provocitalvly, "Did mable piss on your bed again,". Mable loved pissing ans much as dipper loved fapping to the thought of wendy.  
"Grunkle stan, it's just that I'm so bored right now, I wish I had someone to talk to," Dipper dippled. Grimple stam said, "What about my dumbass brother, he faps to nerd things as muchas you do,". "but gruncle stamp, he's always busy and there's jizz alover the walls."  
"HEY DIPPER!" Mable shrieked, "lets walked around in the forest, to find the mystery,". Dipper said ok. Doppler and Maybell were walking out of the mystery shaq but not before putting on their rain cloathes, remember to wear the proper clothes for bad weather kids. They swaggered through the forest and found a poetaytow. Dippo lookeed at the pootaitay and said "Mable, why is there a potato in the middle of the forest,". Suddenly, runnning foot step were heard getting louder and louder. "Dipper, do you hear that?". Spung out of the blue a guy wearing a cone on his head,  
"And molasses," he said. This man collasped onto the floor and fell. A small child holding an frog is seen on his back.  
"Hi I'm greg," the boy said while stairing into their soul, "Me and my brother are lost and hungry.". Mable and dipper looked at eachother, not knowing what to do dipper pulled out his Samsung Galaxy S7™ and called Grunlkes Stan and Ford to the scene. While they were waiting, Dipper examined the tall boy. His penis began to quiver, what was this feeling he thought. normaly he only feld tis aroung the wendy, but this was differend scince his asshole was throbbing. Gmunlke Sran and frod came over.  
" Zoo-wee-mama, what did you guys do," Grinkle atan said. Ford looked at the nome boy on the floor, "Yuck ," ford said, "Looks like we have to dispose of this,". Stan picked up the cone head boy and threw him into the trunk of the car ike the savage beast he is.  
"Grunkle stan," Dipper questioned, "why didn't you just put him in the back of the car,". Mable and greg were getting into the car while they were talking. "Because Ford's too fat to be put in the trunk, now stfu and get your ass into the car u fagot,". Dipper got into the car and Fourf and Satm were arguing. when they crashed into the mysery shaq THE Y Laied the cone boy on the love seat were grunkle stam's ass sits. "I'll go get the kid some water, keep him a way from froed, he might try to wake him upo with his fap hand,"  
"Honestly Stanly, you act like you don't fap," said ford as the were walking out of living room.  
"I don't, idk if you know this but i get pussy ykno,". Dippeer looked at the kid again, hovering right over him infact. The kid began to open his eyes. The kid began to freak out whjen he saw the face of the dipper.  
"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! gREG GREG GREG, WHERE'S GREG!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" He shove th e diiper and began to look around. Stan rushed in to the scene.  
"What the fuck happs!" Greg walked int o the room with mable  
"Hey, they're taking us out to food," greg said holding the pepe. Grunkle stan said  
"I never said that,". Now they were in the car again but they tied J.K Simmons on the roof of the car. Cone boy was sitting in the passanger seat while greg and the mystery twins were in the back. "So kid how'd you get here," Grunkle said.  
"Well my brother and I got lost in the woods and we were looking for a way back home, we dont even know how long we were lost," "When did you guys get lost?" "Halloween 1987," "kID HOW old are u," "Well I'm 15 and my brother's 4," "You've been missing for 25 years, how the hell are you still 15,". When the car stopped in front of the diner Ford jumppedmoff the car hood and pulled the kid who is supposed to be 40 and quetioned he, "Do you know how this could have happened?" "Well, my brother and i went over this wall and there we fell into some river that took us to some place called the unkown," "Say no more, i know exactky waht happened. "well what haopened \," "y ou guys died and came back to life 25 years after youjr innitial deaths," "!?!?!?!?!?!?" "I know it sounds crazy but it-" "STFU Ford ur scaring the kid, every one g3t 0ut 0f th3 car n0w!,"  
They were inside of the restuarnt k=now greg mable ford ans stam were at one table an d dipper amnd wit wre alone at another. DEipper and wirt staired bavk anf fourthe to eadhi oyher and blinkred. Thier food final came to them. Dipper sighed,  
"So whats your name, i'm dipper but that's not my real name," "OH ... well my kname is dumb imdont want to say," "C'mon it's not as bad as my real name," "its wirt,". dipper began to be aroused by him, he has know idea why. Suddenly Wirt had sprung up onto the table, empty his glass of water and urinated into it. He sat back down and took a wiff of it, "Here," he had handed it to Dipper,"Smells ike chiken,". Dipper grabbed the glass of urine and smelled it, "AUGHHTEUIEJ! needs some Mio, Dipper squeezed a continuous stream of purple Mio and passed it back to Wirt. Wirt took a sip of the Mio infused urine much to Dipper's delight,  
"Mmmm" he said with a grand smile. Then carless wisper begzsn to play in the resturant and they staired at one another,  
"Lets go whores," Gumple saum said. dipler and wort asked for doggy bags and shoved btheir food into the bags.  
"Hey great unclen satam can me and squirt goe to the library pweeeese," Dipper said like tghe pussy fuckass he is. stan lookewd at the small diper man. "fine but b3 h0m3 b4 twelve thirty four ante meridiem,".  
"Thanks Great unvcle stan,". Stsan got into the car with the otherws andn left. Wir and dipper were alone together out side of the restursunt aned walked to the ngravity fslls library, the plasce were the hold books in gravity fslls. wen they walked into the gravity falls library they sat down in a secluded area of the gravity falls library. "Wirt, can i show you something,"  
"Sure dipper,". Dipper pulled out the bigass Journals that forf worte while they were in the gravcity falls library. "?????????????".  
"These are journals that my great uncle ford wrote,"  
"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
"They contAIN INFORMATION ABOUT EVERY THING WIERD THAT GOES ON IN GRAVITY FALL," DIPPER ssaid . wirt was amaized by it while he was looking through the journals . Dipper pulledout the food they had saved eirlier from the resuraunt and began to eat some french fries. While eating the fries dippelr felt his peener get hard while eirt read the last journals. Dipper couldn't hold back this hot feeling within him. He began to reach into his trousers and wrapped his hand around his hot had penis. "WHAT THE FUVK ARE U DOING DIPPER!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!". "UH UH, IT'S JUST. UH UH." "dIPPER NYOU GOTTA HOLD IT LIKE THIS". sOme one walked pver and it wqs the owner of the gravity falls library. He saw the wirt holding the dOOP[ER boy penis.  
"Shhh, be quiet. People are trying to read. HAHA JK GTFO BITCHES NO SEX IN THE GRAVITY FALLS LIBRARY,". Dipper and wirt were thrown out of the gravity falls library. They wer4e outside of the gravitly falss library.  
"What are we gonna do now wirt,". They saw robbeeee's bike and jacked it froms him. Wirt shoved dippers ass into the pink bicycle basket and wirt got on and peddled as fast as he can. Robbie was sad. When they crashed into the sealing of the mistery shak they got off anf fell onto frihnkmle stasom ass seat. Fmiuble stam was working on tourist right now (or he was fucking bitches, same thing tho). Dipaa ant woert were on the fumple stan sass seast wen all of a suddent wirt passef the fuck out. Di[poi saw a polygon with onlym 3 sides. Bill cioper was her and int worts mibescrape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw gaiz this iz the summer after weirdmageddon Bitch


	2. Resurgence of the Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exhausted by the shock a whole new world, one of our protagonists falls asleep and falls prey to an old enemy. What secrets will he reveal for him? What will our hero make of this new knowledge?

Wirt looked around his mindscape,  
"Golly geeze wiz jizz, what is this place,". He began to walk around the mindscape and saw a bunch of demonic symbolic shit likke trees and shota ass. There was also a lot of hank cuffsand whips too, there was alos a bed and chains. He saw a shadow that was a triangle.

  
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA," A VOICE FILTERED with an ios voice changer app filled the scenerey. Wirt began ti panic and ran away from wher e the niose was comung form. When he slowed dowm to catch hism breath a yellow triangle was in front of him. Wirts fell backe in shock. "HEY CONE DICK."

  
">:..^(,".

  
"CHILL." THE triangular figure in his dream comanded.

"Who are you, why are you here >:^(,"

"THE NAMES BILL CIPHER, AND I'M LIKE A l MIRACLE WORKER, I'M HERE TO MAKE YOUR DREAMS BECOME A REALITY. I CAN GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT, YOU JUST GOTTA KEEP ME A SECRET,"

"Why."

"CAUSE SOME PPL SAY THAT I'M A HORRIFIC ENTITY THAT NEEDS TO BE ERASED FROM EVERY ALTERNATE REALITY JUST BECAUSE I SPILLED MILK ON THE DOG ALSO I LIKE TO BE A SURPRISE FOR PEOPLE,"

"Gee wilikers, that's auful,"

"WELL IF YOU NEED SOMETHING DON'T EVEN CALL ME I'LL KNOW WHEN YOU NEED ME. REMEMBER: DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS". WIRt woke up in dippers bed. he wanted to tell him what happened in his dream but he didd't want to hurt bills feelingd.

"Oh yer awake," Dipper said while taking his hands outm orf his pants. He wiped his hands on his shirt and walked over to wirt. He plopped his ass onto the bed and looked at wirb. "wjat hapen,"

"nothing. How long have i been outm," He sasked dopperererererewere.

"About two minuets,". Wirt took of his cone hat and wiped off the sewat from his fourhead. He took off his cape? Cloak? And slipped his sispenders off. Dipples began to be a little blush when he saw this hiot shot lyimmg in his bead with him.

"Why does it smell like shit?"

"I haven showered for two weeks,"

"Well i haven showered for 40 yrs so we should shower, but seperate bc showering 2gether is too gay,". Wirt showered in the funkle grunks shower while dippleeeees showered in the generic batheroom bc he's a fuckin' pleb who plays CoD while masturbating with his feet listening to Paramore thinking about eating Hailey Williams' ass. Wirt was in the bath scrubbing himself when he here'd the bthroom door open.

"Ahh some private spot to jerk off without stanly judging me, even better since everyones out of the house so i can distirbingly moan as loud and exaggerated as i want," Ford said. Wirt wanted to say saome thing but it was too l8 m8. Wirt peek though and saw the sixty two year old man wanking his old man dick. Wirt closed the curtain and sat there awkardly and uncomfortably. Meanwhile, Dipper was showering and reflection on whatn is ogoing on rn. Some hot knome boy from thr eightires just comes out of no where. Dipper got out of the shower and walked upn to stans room. It was like an hour, he was wasndering why he was taking so long, but then he heard ford moaning hjis ads off and he was horrifires.

"GREAT UNCLE FORD, GREAT UNCLE FORD GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM,". Ford stopped and was panicing.

"What is it duppper ny voy, is there a monster cock that needs aprehending," he cracked his knuckles but only after he washed his hands. He walked out of the bathrooom and met up with dipper. Dipper sat their awkwardly until he saw wirt get out of the shower and wrapped a towle arounf himself. He want up to ford`

"Um dipper do you have some clothes i can borrow". Ford turned around and looked at wirt with his shoked, frowning muppet face. the wet nude wirtn enticed the young diper shild. dipper wanted to jack it but his asshole grunkle ford was standing in the way of this hot beast.

"Oh, of course. cum with me boy," fuckle ford said leading the way. Dipper left the romm and sat in the funkle stan ass chair. He turn on the tv to some show about a gay ass duck solving mysteries in nineteenth century london. While he was doing that Funckle stan came in in his holly hot tamale hot rod bod, oh and mable and grog with his frog were there too.

"Wass up b1tch35," the old man said.

"Dipper tell ur bf that you guys r going shopping," Merbles said. Wirb and fuckle ford came down stairs. wirt 'ooked clean and spiffy, his hair was as spiffy too. dipper felt extra gqay, he didn't know why he felt this gay, he just felt gay at the momnt.

"C0m3 0n bitches get into the fucking car already,". while wirt and dipper ot into the fuicking car wirt began to think about the bill cipher triangle man and why there was a sex dungon in his dream. what does that symbolize, is it his dream telling him that hes a gay fagot, probably. dipper beanf fo speak ,

"Hey, wirt wat did u see when you were int he 'unknown'?"

"Well it was like a bunch of trees, oh and this guy who was made out of trees that were made out of lost soul he collected to keep his lantern lit and that lantern held his soul so he had to trick someone into thinking that their daughter was dead and that she was in the lamp and he tried to get me to keep his lantern lit whan he was about to turn my brother into one of the trees. Now i suppose you are wondering why he was turning ppl into trees, well its simple. The tree containd oil made out of the souls of the lost, which his soul fed on,". Dipper eas texting grunkle ford about this information he had learned on his Samsung Galaxy S7. they were at the mall now since his little explination took most of the car ride. The mall wasn't that fa4r away because gravity falls is a tiny ass town. Because it was a tiny ass town he won dered why this tiny ass town had a big ass mall, the mall was probably as big as funkle gruncle's dick, which was big.

"bRPLRTPTMJEN...PLEPLEPRKOELPWLOWOSIO," Funcle grunk said which translates to, you guys can get whatever you want you dont even have to pay for it since i am the real mayor of gravity falls. IT was true, he was the real mayor of gravity falls and if any of you in the comments say i'm wrong because Tyler the Kawaii biker is the mayor and that mayors cant have free things imma kick yor ass. DON'T LIKE DON'T READ MOTHERFUCKER! Anyway wirb and dopper were in the mall already. Wirt was still facinated by the fact that this mall was way too big for this town, there was like 40 floors and was bigger than gravity falls itself. H3 was alittlepissedoff by thiths but he lkiked it any way.

"So where should we go first, dicker," wirb said looking at the sexy shota. They want to spensers bc they r loosers (haha get reckt son). They looked arounf the sotre and they went around and found the dildo section. There was so many dildos, they didn't know which dildo to get and what kin d of lube they should het. When they finaly chose a big blue vibraiting dildo and bacon flavored lube.

"Hey aren't u guys too jung for the shit," the specners clerk said in a condecending tone of voice.

"My Grunkle is stan pines, the mayor of gravity falls,"

"Oh, i'm sorry for pestering you,". THe worb and fippwr wakled out of the store and went into a real store, with real clothes. They wnt into some store with clothes and wirt got some clothes and underies and blah blah blah.

"Hey dipper,"

"Yeah wirt,"

"how did your grunkle become the mayor,"

"bc he is sexy,". Just hte n dipper sow something shocking, A TRIANGLE!!!!!!!! He grabbied squit's are and took him away from that area in the gravity falls mall.

"Is something the happs dipples," wirt said blbopbkly.

"nah i'm just hungry,". Though he was hungry he wanted still wanted to tell wirt about bill ciph the triangle guy but he could not bring himself to tell him such things for he, in his heart, did not want to bring Wirt into this feude, butn he'd know he'd have to tell him some time. They waled upmto the burglperglepurgemyurgle place.

"We want [insert expensive food choiuce here] please,"

"700000000000000000000000000000000000000 dollahs pls,"

"my grunkle is the mayor,"

"pay up bitch,". Police sirens began to play out and this hoe was aprihendead by the authorities for disobeying the law. Then wirt and dipper got their lunch and sat down.

"Gee what an asshole,"

"Yeah,"

"luckly they're putting him on death row for treason against the Pines Dynasty,"

"i hope they kill him by putting his dick in a blender and letting him suffer through the rest,"

"ohh i'll tell grunkle stan that that should be his fate,". Dippl,ed began to feel the feeling of his cocke pressing against his trousers. He began to feel horny. Wirt got suddenly tiered and they decided to go home. He called Grunk on his Samsung Galaxy S7 and they were on their way. Dipper got Wirt a Samsung Galaxy S7 as well.

"get in the car wh0r35!", Funkle grunkled. They go into the car.

"Grunkle staan, there was this pussy who denied us free food, can you give him a public exiqueuetion and death by cock in blender and severe blood loss,"

"anything 4 my sw33t l1ttle d1pp3r". When they got home they sat at the table. And discussed things such as where wirt and his bro will sleep, will they go to school, will they stay in gravity falls, who plays the trumpet better, when will our society down fall be and how will it happen, and what do titties look like. They decided that theyd put them in that part of the mystery shack that no one remembers despite being in Tourist Trapped and Sock Opera and other notable episodes. They won't go to school, ford'll teach them. Though no one can play the trumpet, mable plays the best. Our society will never fall for we have recovered form many instances where society have been challanged and survived and grew. And titties look like this ( . )( . ).

"Yawn," Wirt yawned, "I'm tired imma hit the hay,". Dipper was a little nervous, what if bill causes him to give into temptation. Perhaps he was wise enough to deny him. Only the morning will bring answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall dont leav me kudos im cummin' 2 ya haus binch


End file.
